It got me thinking… who really knows me… the real, me?

We’ve all got two sides… us and our representatives.  I’m actually convinced that some people have more than two sides… but that’s another story…

There’s only three people in my life who really know me… one I’ve known my whole life, another more than half my life and the other only 8 years… but it feels like forever.  They probably know me better than I know myself.  I’m not afraid to let my hair down, to tell them what’s going on in the craziness that is my brain, and to be completely vulnerable without fear of judgment.

I trust them, fully…

and I think that’s why they know me, inside and out.

I respect them and their opinions and they respect me and mine.  Ours is a true friendship.

So anyway… thank you to my cousin April, Anna and April (aka lovey)… without you, I would be lost.

I was tired and extremely hormonal.

To top it all off… things at work tanked.

–

Like I said, I had a really shitty day yesterday.

–

But after a good cry and a few hours of reflection… I snapped out of it.

I reminded myself that things could be much worse.

I am blessed.

Blessed…

to have a job that not only pays the rent… but also allows me live a comfortable life.

to have coworkers who have my back.

to have friends who remind me of just how fortunate I am and who are always there through life’s ebs and flows.

to have a good health.

to have a beautiful and supportive family.

to have a wonderful man who loves and appreciates me.

–

Like I always say….

all things in time.

means absolutely everything to me.”

#becauseI’masaplikethat

Filed under: From the heart., Life, Love ]]> http://lifeonmyside.wordpress.com/2012/01/03/its-you-2/feed/ 0 lifeonmyside http://lifeonmyside.wordpress.com/2012/01/01/living-passionately/ http://lifeonmyside.wordpress.com/2012/01/01/living-passionately/#comments Sun, 01 Jan 2012 20:39:37 +0000 lifeonmyside http://lifeonmyside.wordpress.com/?p=4156 Continue reading →]]> So it’s the first day of 2012, and I’m sitting in a random coffee shop in the middle of the french quarter in New Orleans. I’ve been without internet for an excruciating, 7 days. Needless to say, being able to listen to music and surf the web feels like the most amazing thing in the whole world right now.

Anyhow, every year I try to do this “end of the year wrap up” post… and this year is no different. The only thing about 2011 is that I don’t really remember much of it. Maybe my memory is seriously starting to disintegrate or I just blocked a lot of stuff out, or maybe just a bit of both. I had to go through my blog posts from 2011 just to remember what happened. As I was going through them, I realized… damn, 2011 was a rough one. It was filled with confusion, heart ache, and loss. But as history goes in my life… with all the heart break comes renewal.

The hardest parts of 2011 surrounded my friends and family. I lost too many loved ones. I lost friendships with people I never thought I would lose. I lost respect towards one of my mentors… a man I trusted who I realize now, never deserved it. And finally, I lost my beloved Lola. Spending my first Christmas without her was painful to say the least. It’s hard to look at a photo of her without crying. Even as I type, I’m trying to hold back the tears.

But with all the struggles also came the triumphs. In 2011, I stood my ground and refused to settle (even if I wanted to at times)… and I’m so glad I didn’t. Life would not be as fulfilling as it is right now if I had. I think the most influential event that happened in 2011 (other than my Lola’s passing) is meeting “the boy”. Well…it’s more like “re-meeting” him. It’s only been three months but there’s just some things you know in your bones to be true… and I’ll just leave it at that ;)

So here’s to 2011… Nice knowing you. 2012… I’m ready.

with my <3

@Twitter holiday party

#WONDER-full

But what I do know is how good I feel about life at this very moment.  Usually I hate everything around Christmas time.  The very sight of ornaments and the sound of holiday music normally makes me want to gauge my eyes out with the nearest sharp object….

but not this year.  This year… I’m happy.

Why, you may ask?  I think it’s mainly becuase I’ve expelled some negative thoughts/feelings/issues I was having for quite some time… and instead, let more positive thoughts/people/feelings/situations into my life.

I’ve also allowed myself to let someone in….

and it wasn’t even hard.

I feel like I’m falling in love for the very first time…. and I honestly feel like it will be my last time.

Anyway, that’s my life in a nutshell.

-B